Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Celts, Canada and the Bostonian

Yes, I told you, Kerry voters would fall heroically, but in vain. My colleague Arwen Venetian has always insisted this is the Celtic way: to march into battle knowing both that you will fall and that you will fall in vain. Another colleague, Poet Abu-Jonathan (who is not of Arab origin), claims this is all Ossian rubbish. Still, Kerry being a Bostonian lawyer, the (pseudo-)Celtic theme becomes him and his lost cause. I just pray (because, you know, faith can be a source of strength) that the aggressive moron's advisors (the people who just got four more years, wars or other) decide he needs to go down in history as a magnanimous leader, say Bush the Great, to distinguish him from his dad, say Bushy -- no wait, W is Bushy. Anyway. To end the electionology with an upbeat note, I have a modest proposal: the North-East states, the West Coast, Minnesota, Michigan, Wisconsin and glorious Illinois should consider joining Canada now. Think about it: geographical contingency! Moreover, everybody who's actually been there says Canada is cool. Even Michael Moore would be happy. The whole world would, too: both New York and LA (not to mention San Francisco) would be part of a big country (yes, already bigger than the US), not bent on ruling over us.


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